Spiritual Abuse

Whoa! What’s the topic of spiritual abuse have to do with hearing God’s voice?

Good question!

Spiritual abuse is one of the most powerful techniques that Satan uses to deafen the ears of God’s people from hearing His voice. Spiritual abuse cannot function without convincing the people that they do not or can not hear directly from God—that the pastor and the leaders are the voice for God.

Knowing what can hinder us from hearing God’s voice is just as important as knowing what helps us to hear His voice—we should not be ignorant of Satan’s devices.

Spiritual abuse is much like classic domestic abuse: there is a perpetrator and there are victims and both sides deny the abuse exists. Denial and deception are two of the main demonic forces that give power to this type of relationship.

Hearing and obeying God’s voice in the midst of abuse and denial is very difficult, and many find it impossible.

This enewsletter aims to help abusers, victims, and those aware of existing abuse to understand the demonic strategy behind spiritual abuse and to recognize God’s voice and wisdom regarding this Pharisaical system of leadership.

The Pharisees that Jesus spoke against are a classic example of spiritually abusive leaders. A study of their actions shows remarkable similarities to today’s spiritually abusive churches. Below is a list of many of the characteristics found in churches that function under spiritual abuse:

Identifying Characteristics

Authority Focused. The leaders constantly remind themselves and the people in the church of their position of authority. These leaders talk frequently about how much everyone is supposed to submit to them.

The very fact that they are eager to place people under them is a red-flag.

Jesus is a perfect example of how a spiritual leader should see his position among the people. Matthew 7:28–29 says, “When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.” The people could sense His authority.

And Jesus gave them something that the Pharisees did not—He gave them hope. A true leader does not have to talk about his authority and a true leader gives his people hope.

Preoccupation with Performance. Spiritual abuse systems place a higher importance on performance than on grace. The works from the people are more important than being transformed by the renewing of the mind into Christlikeness.

A pastor demanded that everyone in his church spend two hours every evening praying in the sanctuary, except of course during the three services a week which they were not allowed to miss. If anyone was not there, the deacon in charge of that person would meet with the absentee to discuss the problem and possibly put him under church discipline. To quote from the pastor’s sermon, “You are required to be here. This is for your safety because the days are getting more and more evil. Besides, what else are you going to do? Waste your time, that’s what! “But what about family time?” someone asked me. What are you going to do with that family time? I’ll tell you what you’ll do! You’ll watch television or talk ungodly conversations.” (Yes, this actually happened.)

Under this performance-oriented atmosphere, everyone either does what they are told or face shame and embarrassment from the church’s method of discipline. 

Rules are Hidden. Abusive spiritual systems control people by rules—rules that are openly discussed and rules that are hidden. But it’s the hidden rules that are most powerful, injurious, and unhealthy. For example, “Don’t say anything contrary to the pastor’s teaching or church leadership or you’ll be marked as being rebellious.”

By not speaking those hidden rules, they are kept from being exposed for what they are: a control mechanism.

Unbalanced Approach to Living the Christian Life. This aspect of the abusive system is usually seen in two extremes: authority is based on education and intellect or authority is guided only by their feelings and experiences.

The former does not acknowledge obedience and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, nor the gifts and calling on a person’s life. It limits God to act only in ways that can be explained or proven.

The latter states that the congregation can only know and understand God by what the leaders tell them because only the leaders are given revelation from God.

Fear and Suspicion. In the spiritual abusive system, there is a paranoia that outsiders will not understand their “revelation of the Word” (the twisting of scripture) and will “persecute” them (reveal the existing abuse). This fear and suspicion creates a wall between them and other churches and unbelievers. (Which in turn creates an isolation that enables the senior pastor to be accountable to no one. Which then, in turn, enables him to have more control over the people and abuse them as he pleases.)

When the abuse is seen by outsiders and comments are made, the paranoia often expresses itself with statements like: “We must be getting higher revelations of God than even the other churches. Satan is using Christians to attack us.”

Within the abusive church, there is a hidden communication system that funnels information about its members that are not in full support of the leader’s directions and teachings. The leaders fear exposure. While cloaking their evil with scripture (“Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” —Hebrew 13:17), they are quick to mark as being rebellious and discipline anyone who questions their decisions or speaks contrary to their teachings.

Delusion of Grandeur. One of the strongest footholds that Satan has in a spiritually abusive church is the belief that they alone are right, that all ‘outsiders’ that do not fully agree with their teachings and methods that they are wrong or live a ‘watered-down’ gospel.

The senior pastor is not accountable to an overseeing leadership and other churches are often criticized, even from the pulpit.

This aspect of spiritual abuse is often expressed in scaring and humiliating the people. “Marking” people who do not adhere to their standards is a powerful method to scare and humiliate the congregation.

Here are three real-life examples from an abusive church:

• After demanding that everyone pay their tithe, the pastor felt there was still not enough money coming in. So, from the pulpit, he held up a piece if paper and said, “I have a list of those of you who are not tithing. If you do not start tithing this week, I will read your name aloud next week.”
• In this same church, mostly everyone reflects the pastor’s self-righteousness. There is an ‘understanding’ that if you leave that church, you will be cursed. When they hear of any bad thing that has happened to anyone who has left, the explanation is: “They left our protection and are now free game for the devil.” They actually rejoice when bad things happen to those that have left their church.
• A mother had a child with behavioral difficulties that were beyond her ability to control. The mother was warned numerous times to control her child as he disturbed the class and would not submit to the teacher. She was told that because she did not control him and did not teach him to submit to authority that she was doing more harm than physically abusing him and she was then “marked” in front of the whole congregation for not following through on the leadership’s order. No one was allowed to talk to her.

Within the past several years, many books and ministries that expose spiritual abuse and offer help in healing the wounded have appeared. This is a sign that God is saying, “Enough is enough!” To the abuser, “Stop and repent!” To the abused, “Come and let me heal you.” And to the rest of the Body of Christ, “Open your eyes to this cancer and rid My Body of it.”

It is my prayer for you that Father will continue to help you to hear His voice, and more and more frequently.

With God’s grace and in His peace,

Gary

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Gary (gary@ears-2-hear.com), Author, Web Designer, www.ears-2-hear.com.

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